12月27日，2013。My birthday was supposed to be a perfect night,and I planned everything to make sure that was the case: dinner at my favorite restaurant with my closest friends,酒后随着80年代的音乐跳舞，在城市里还有一个酒店房间，可以让一切变得更精彩。
But when I look back on that evening,the first thing that comes to mind is not the amazing group of friends who celebrated it with me,我们令人难以置信的美味佳肴，包括甘薯饼和墨西哥辣巧克力蛋糕（加上椰子冰淇淋，非常感谢）。or even the mariachi band that serenaded me with a particularly festive rendition of theHappy Birthday歌曲。不，在我心目中最突出的是一个厕所。
我精心挑选和预订的酒店房间也恰巧配备了一个有缺陷的厕所（网站上肯定没有广告）。so the clearest image I have of that night is of me frantically calling reception and trying to get someone from maintenance to come to my room IMMEDIATELY to stop the gushing fountain of water that was spewing out of the commode at a dangerous pace.
Why isTHATthe one thing I'm focused on?!All the fun and happy memories from that evening have started to fade with time,and the one I can't seem to shake is the worst part of the evening,the one memory I'd like to forget the most.
事实证明，这种经历（一般集中在消极的方面，而不是厕所部分）是如此普遍，以至于科学家有了一个术语：“消极偏见”。It basically means that消极的经历比积极的经历更有力量.We remember them more vividly and for longer than positive experiences.我们会把注意力集中在他们身上，在我们的脑海里一遍又一遍地播放他们，letting the happy memories wither and fade away.
对这个事实感到沮丧（这是人类的天性，毕竟）。But you can still use negativity to your advantage,especially when it comes to your job search and figuring out a career path.
Ever feel at a loss when someone asked you,“你想用你的生活做什么？”or "What do you want to be when you grow up?"如果你认为你不可能回答这类问题，你并不孤单。
But what if we used negativity bias to our advantage here?If I rephrase the question as,"What do you NOT want to do with your life?"it becomes a whole lot easier to answer.
花点时间想想。一下子，你可能会列出五份你知道你永远不会想要的工作。And it might feel like this is not a useful exercise,but by spending some time eliminating and ruling things out,you're actually getting closer to identifying what you DO care about.
因为你的个性你可以马上排除哪些事情，past experiences,or factors outside of your control?
- I KNOW that I couldn't handle the intense pressure of being a pilot or surgeon
- As much as I might wish for it to be so,我永远不会成为挪威的国王
- 史蒂芬马在实习时发现自己很懒散，结果被解雇了。这帮助他了解了什么reallymattered to him.
What things leave you feeling slightly unsatisfied (but also excited or interested to learn more)?这可能是你变暖和的迹象。
- Roberta Pereiraloved theater but wasn't totally fulfilled by acting or directing.She knew there was something more and finally discovered that with producing.
当你进行这个活动时，记住不要太quick to dismiss things.你可能会对你喜欢的东西感到惊讶。认为你不喜欢某样东西是因为它不熟悉和knowingthat you won't like something because of an actual experience you've had.想看看现实生活中的情况吗？坎迪斯纳兰霍experienced this when she was asked to fill in for others at work and discovered that she actually loved researching and writing for the web more than anything else.
I'd like to end with this quote from Amy Poehler (from her book是的，请）这太完美了：“我认为我们应该停止问20多岁的人他们“想做什么”，开始问他们不想做什么。与其要求学生“申报专业”，我们应该要求学生“列出他们将要做的任何事情以避免。”这只是更有意义而已。